#17

This isn't me being dumped. It's just...written in the Freewrite section in 7 minutes and 19 seconds. The time is 6:18 LA time, but I'm in Florida, so it's 9:18...The topic was 'I Want.'

I kinda like how it turned out...

"Disposed" Written on February 24, 2010

I want breath

in this dizzying, heavy, place.

The aromatic coffee awakens me,

I long to taste it, only to dip my tongue in black bitterness.

I want to fly, but how can I?

For I have no wings, and airplanes need airfare.

I want money, but I can't be that shallow

The world existed without money before,

why can't we live without it now?

I want...life, but...

how can I long for something I already have?

I want to be noticed, but being noticed

is different from receiving love.

What is love?

Why do we need it?

Why does everyone have it?

...But me?

Surely it must be there,

along with everything else.

I want people. Yet I have to wonder why...

Why are people thrown away?

Like me. I'm just a concept now,

abandoned in the dump that is someone's life.

Go ahead, neglect me,

pretend I was never there.

It's okay, you know.

That's why I'm here.

For you to confide in,

to walk with,

to talk to,

to relieve your loneliness.

But why,why must you discard of me

dispose of me

leave me like I never was there

when I brought you up out of your sad days?

I am the reason you're here now.

So why would you progress, without ever looking back

and remembering those times we had together.

Don't you want me?

Well, here--

I want you,

so I won't stop trying.

Poems 13, 14, 15, and 16

I wrote four poems since my last update...and obviously, I keep forgetting/don't have the time to update, so I'm posting 4 of the last poems I've written in a super, ultra, mega post. :)

Okay, this first one is based on a relationship between a friend and myself in which I'm helping that said friend sort things out.

"Walk To Me" Written on February 12, 2010

Walk to me

take little baby steps

on your way to the light.

Walk to me

turn to me

trust me.

Why can't you

trust yourself?

bring yourself to be around others?

stop caring?

For once, just stop.

Just freeze

just fall back,

because I am there to catch you.

Why can't you realize that?

Trust me.

Talk to me.

I know you.

I see you

clearer than you see yourself.

Look in the mirror,

a muddy reflection blinks

back to your blank face.

Blubbering, bantering,

baffling, bawling,

blundering, blighting

Take a step back

and look at yourself.

Walk to me.

Don't look back.

Don't fall, or else I will catch you.

Walk to me.

Teeter on your feet.

Take a small step

Out of the darkness,

and run to the light.

This next one is based off of a fight between another friend and myself. We've worked it out, which is good.

"Reply", Written on February 14

Reply

Don't leave me hanging

by a thread

that which,

so easily broken

can crumble

Reply

Don't replace me,

eclipse me,

shadow me,

leave me crying.

It's alright, you know.

You're forgiven,

but don't hold this against me

when my tears drop into the ocean,

the pool of the million hearts you've broken,

don't go searching for it.

You claim you're in a triangle

feel like you have to choose

Don't put one on a pedestal

and level us out

You can balance us, can't you?

Reply

I don't wish to obligate you

to speak

I don't wish to chain you

to me

I don't wish to hurt you

though I have so many times before...

Broken pieces picked off the floor

glued together, reshaped, remodeled

are what friendships are.

Forgive me for crying,

I'm just hurt, that's all,

That you'd let me stumble

in the dark with no light,

so I'd crash and fall.

But falling was how we met,

how this love began.

You laughed while I cried,

cried while I laughed

But still hugged me,

comforted me,

and took me under your wing

of feathers so soft

and so cashmere rich

of sisterly feelings,

but life's a b***h.

So leave me,

go ahead

but come back,

for I'll miss you.

I'm not mad,

just sad

that you'd ignore me -

the things I have to say.

Fine with me,

don't return my call.

I'll just pen this

miserably,

so that you don't

have to

listen.

But I'll be standing

right here, should you

ever choose

to return.

Thirty minutes gone...

but I feel like I've lost you

forever.

This next is picture inspired and for a contest.

Tayo (As in, "Us" in Tagalog), Written February 20, 2010

I am an open book

a story leaps off the page

so take me in and read me.

Hold me

caress me,

swiftly turn the pages

get to know me.

I love this

I indulge in this.

this passion that I feel

as our mental bonds connect through time

and space.

A fall of roses cascades off my covers

weeping at the torn pages.

Cry pools of shining light for me,

my lover.

Shower me with gold that destroys my blundering way.

Guide me

get to know me.

Read me, take me in.

Sense me

as I sense you

as we cuddle in this rocking chair.

So love,

read me a story.

Our story.

The last of the poems is...from my muse, dedicated to my camera, my beaten, scratched up, yet ever-so-faithful Canon Power Shot SD550. xD

"Camera", Written on February 22, 2010

Wondrous little box

with your rounded window

over your rectangular screen

composed of little dots and smaller squares

of color and light.

Your round, eye never ceases to amuse me

The memories your spacious mind holds

fits onto a little card, slips into slits.

Your knobs and buttons

turned and pushed repeatedly.

I'm amazed you're never driven crazy.

How is it, you're still alive and functioning,

when I've dropped you and let you go so many times?

How are you still breathing,

when I've suffocated you carelessly in dust?

Why do your battle scars never pain you

when your face scratched up against the rocks

because I let go of your string?

I don't take care of you enough, friend,

yet you serve me and work for me willingly.

You and I paint images together

and we hold rays of sunlight in the palms of our hands.

I rejoice when you catch rays for me

though you have no hands...or arms for that matter.

We're a good team , friend.

Reflect for me what I see in you,

and we'll take pictures together,

forevermore.

That's it for now. :)

Oh, and please note that technically, while starting them (except Walk To Me) it was the day before...I just sleep really late. All of these were written before sleeping...so...yeah.